Tessipes

My Favorite Ice Cream

an essay

A few months ago I was at Von’s and I came across an ice cream flavor, by Ben & Jerry, called Mission to Marzipan. I’ve talked about it a lot since then. That’s because this ice cream is what I want for my last meal.

When I am going to die, I want this ice cream on top of a dense but custard-like almond cake, and with about a cup and a half of raspberries on top. And then, on top of that, I want to have little tiny roasted almond slivers (salted), and fresh whipped cream. I would like three pounds of this dessert.

The reason that Mission to Marzipan ice cream is so good is that it has the perfect melt-point (unlike, you know, PB Cup, which has peanut butter in the ice cream itself so it freezes more solidly, never achieving the lightness that you want even when you let it soften at room temperature, patiently, for minutes and minutes); it also is sweet but not cloying, the marzipan ribbon is a delightful addition (delightful addition! I do say!), and the almond cookies are a great consistency. There is nothing to find wrong with this ice cream. I like its name, I like its whole thing.

The end.

What Was For Dinner?

turkey tetrazzini

avocado, heirloom tomato and butter lettuce salad

What's For Dinner?

Roast turkey breast

Stuffing

Mashed potatoes

Broccoli

…it should be ready at, like, midnight.

Vegan-Friendly Recipe I Haven't Tried Yet

Full disclosure! I’ve made all of this except for the home-made ketchup. I’m going to try it, though, so I’ll keep you posted — the recipe seems promising.

Vegan Hash with Homemade Ketchup

Ingredients:

2 Russet potatoes, chopped into cubes

1 large onion (sweet onions like Vidalia are great), also chopped

4 Tbsp peanut or vegetable oil

Salt + pepper

Fresh chopped herbs (rosemary, sage, parsley, thyme — if you’re in a pinch, dried is fine)

In a saucepan, heat the oil over medium-high until a piece of onion sizzles in it. Layer the potatoes, then onions, in the pan, and season with salt, pepper, and herbs; cover for 5-10 minutes. Take off the cover, let cook for a minute or two, then stir it up with a heatproof spatula. Cover again for 5, then let the potatoes and onions fry for 5; test out a tater and see if it’s done. If not, continue to cook over medium-high for a bit until it is done (it should be soon!). Serve immediately with homemade ketchup.

Possible addition:

Bell peppers sauteed with onions, garlic, a splash of cider vinegar and olive oil (/- thyme).

Possible side dishes:

1. Sauteed spinach with garlic and a splash of soy sauce

2. Apples (peeled, cored, sliced) sauteed in a splash of apple cider, a pat of margarine, and cinnamon + vanilla + allspice

3. Good veggie sausage (I like Morningstar farms)

What Was For Dinner?

Beer

Vegetables

…a potsticker

…a latke

… :(

Recipe: Meatloaf

YE OLDE FASHIONED LOAF O MEAT

ingredients:

1 lb ground pork

1 lb ground beef

2 slices of white bread, soaked in milk

1/2 tsp dried marjoram (you will find this in your spice rack if you have a spice rack — chances are you don’t use it very often, but it’s the jam)

1/2+ cup ketchup (depending on the amount of love you have for ketchup)

1 1/2 tbsp worcestershire sauce (separated into 1 tbsp and 1/2 tbsp)

1 egg

1/2 cup minced onion

Salt and pepper

dash of nutmeg (I put this in literally everything)

2 slices bacon, chopped into bits

Preheat oven to 375. In a large bowl, mix pork, beef, egg, bread, marjoram, salt, pepper, nutmeg and onion until very well blended. Mix in 1/2 tbsp worcestershire sauce. Now, I didn’t happen to have a loaf pan that was the right size, so I shaped my ingredients into a football-shaped loaf — which, actually, helped the fat run out of the meatloaf while giving it a nice crusty texture on the outside. So, a football — that’s right. I did that on purpose and IT WAS A GREAT IDEA. Either way, though, if you follow my advice to football-shape your meatloaf or not, you’re now going to be going bananas with ketchup on top of that motherfucker. First, spread the rest of your worcestershire sauce over the loaf, then drizzle ketchup all over the top of your meatloaf. Like, a lot of it. Now sprinkle your bacon on top, and a little salt, unless you’re on a low-sodium diet, in which case you’re not allowed to eat any of this meatloaf anyway.

Pop it in the oven for about 20 minutes at 375, then lower the heat to 350. Bake for 1 1/2 hours, or until the middle registers 160 degrees. Serve with more

What's For Dinner?

Mad Men TV-dinner special:

Meatloaf, mushroom gravy

This Is Why You’re Fat mashed potatoes

NO VEGETABLE TONIGHT BITCHES

Dessert: pineapple rings

Trader Joe's Special Feature

I have been burned by TJ’s so many times, I realized the other day. I’m in this constant battle with the grocery chain; on the one hand, I can shop for two or three days’ worth of food and leave like $25 lighter; on the other hand, some items at Trader Joe’s are so wack that I feel angry at Joe for having screwed me like that. I’m looking at you, cioppino. I know the truth about the English Toffee. It fools my boyfriend, but I am unfoolable. How about you, dried mystery fruit? No, you are also a potently, scarringly miserable snack. Trader Joe is the guy you think you could date, because he leaves you feeling satisfied and his music taste is okay even if it relies heavily on 80’s jams, but then one day he tells you a story and you’re like, “That’s a lie, Joe,” and he’s like, “What did you expect? I’m a great guy who tries really hard to do the right thing. Sometimes I’m going to disappoint you,” and you’re like, “Your lie gave me food poisoning, Joe,” and he’s like, “Bottle of wine?” and you forgive him, but then the thirtieth time it happens you’re like, “Joe, that was rib meat,” and he’s like, “Take it or leave it! I’m a popular guy! I got a line around the block in Union Square!” and then you leave, taking your mp3 of “The Promise” by When In Rome, never to return.

After we broke up, my rule was that I would buy everything at Trader Joe’s (a girl’s still gotta eat) EXCEPT paper products (betch plz), sodas, proteins and avocados, but I wouldn’t let myself be wooed by the frozen entree aisle at all, because it reminded me too much of the times I’d been burned. Occasionally I’m down with TJ’s proteins, but I swear that they’re frozen in a way that affects them differently than at schmancy grocery stores. Recently (more below), I got some Empire chicken breasts that were pretty good — they thawed quickly in the fridge, and I was going to dredge them and fry them anyway; their kosher ground beef is good too. And, of course, they do have some really good frozen foods, but I just think they’re unreliable. You also get so sick of them eventually. Even the orange chicken, which is pretty good. You know?

Anyway, let’s cut to the chase: I wanted to do a TJ’s feature because this is a great dinner to make with all-TJ’s ingredients, and it yields great leftovers.

Chicken Piccata With Pasta; Roasted Fall Vegetables

Chicken piccata:

1 package boneless, skinless chicken breasts, thawed if frozen, butterflied or pounded to 1/2 inch thickness (fun)

1 cup of flour

Olive oil (for frying)

1/2 package fusili pasta

1 tbsp capers

Juice of 1 lemon

1/2 cup dry white wine (2-buck chuck will work nicely, drink the rest)

1 large pat of butter

1 tsp fresh chopped parsley

1 minced clove of garlic

Salt and pepper

Wash and pat dry chicken breasts. Set aside. Heat olive oil in large saucepan (enough olive oil to comfortably coat the pan) over medium-high heat. While oil heats, season chicken breasts with salt and pepper; then, in a large, shallow bowl (or on a place) dredge chicken breasts with flour. Add butter to oil, then fry chicken in batches, setting aside when cooked all the way through (4 minutes or so aside, depending on thickness); you can add a little more butter after each batch, if you’re a Super Delicious Decadent Person. While chicken cooks, mix lemon juice, wine, parsley and capers in a bowl. Smash the capers up a bit. Pour off most of the cooking oil, then add garlic to the pan. When garlic turns golden, add lemon juice/wine/capers, and let reduce for a bit, scraping the pan. Bring to a simmer, then pour off half of liquid, leaving the other half in the saucepan; return cooked chicken to the pan and reduce heat to lowest setting.

Cook fusili according to package directions, drain, and place in a serving bowl. Toss with the sauce you poured off. Serve with…

Roasted Fall Vegetables

1 package TJ’s fresh harvest medley (turnips, butternut squash, sweet potatoes)

Optional: 1 package TJ’s baby broccoli, trimmed of excess stems

Olive oil

Coarse salt & pepper

Squeeze of lemon

Dash of nutmeg

Fresh thyme leaves

Preheat oven to 425. Rinse and dry vegetables, then toss in a bowl with remaining ingredients. Roast until they’re turning golden-brown — about 25-40 minutes — stirring them around once halfway through.

CHOWHOUND: Favorite Recipes Using Trader Joe’s Ingredients

What's For Dinner?

New York strip steaks

Corn on the cob

Roasted broccoli

Bread

For dessert:

Blackberries & tangelos

Tate’s chocolate chip cookies

Tiny Almond Joys that I intended to save for trick-or-treaters

What's For Dessert?

Apples (the gala apples from TJ’s are so good right now), tangelos, bananas and strawberries with Greek yogurt, honey, and steel-cut oats